Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Where are Scully and Mulder when you need them?

The local Fox news came on tonight after American Idol. About ten minutes into the program the newscaster mentioned a possible Bigfoot sighting not too far from Charleston. Dave and I immediately stopped what we were doing--I put down my laptop and he put down his book--to hear if Sasquatch really had made an appearance in the lowcountry. Perhaps he heard that spring was a nice time to visit?

What got me about the report was not the Bigfoot sighting or even that the local news was reporting it.

What really got me was that the newscaster casually mentioned that some people think that it wasn't Bigfoot, but instead the "legendary Lizard Man." I couldn't believe my ears. I looked at Dave and said, "Did she just say 'legendary Lizard Man'?" Dave nodded, thrilled at the prospect of a green monster roaming the area.

I picked up my laptop and went straight to Google. Sure enough, there have been "sightings" of a green, scaly monster with glowing red eyes. Here's what Wikipedia has to say:

"The Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp (also known as The Lizard Man Of Lee County), is a humanoid cryptid which is said to inhabit areas of swampland in and around Lee County, South Carolina. The Lizard Man is described as being seven feet tall, bipedal, and well built, with green scaly skin and glowing red eyes. It is said to have three toes on each foot and three fingers on each hand which end in long black claw-like nails."

Great. Now on top of alligators, snakes, and the ginormous roaches palmetto bugs that fly around here, I have to worry about a bipedal humanoid cryptid. Is there no justice in this world?